Racking up crucial endorsements

Don't count out ol' John Sidney yet! He's still got a few friends left, and they're coming out of the woodwork to endorse their pal John.

Al-Qaida supporters suggested in a Web site message this week they would welcome a pre-election terror attack on the U.S. as a way to usher in a McCain presidency.

The message, posted Monday on the password-protected al-Hesbah Web site, said if al-Qaida wants to exhaust the United States militarily and economically, "impetuous" Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain is the better choice because he is more likely to continue the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Now, as Spencer Ackerman pointed out, we already know John Sidney's feelings on this. It's merely a statement of fact that Al-Qaida is supporting John Sidney. I'm not trying to say anything one way or another. The American prisoners people pay attention to everything in a political campaign.

Health of the Mother!!!

Yikes. John Sidney took his chains off on Wednesday night. He probably should have left them on. His "health of the mother" sc/air quotes might be the biggest debate blunder I've ever witnessed. This isn't like Dan Quayle comparing himself to JFK and getting counter-punched; this is like, well...watch the video clip below.



The only fundamental difference between John and Monty is that Monty was *ahead* in the polls.

I think I might add "Health of the Mother!" to my arsenal of obscure oaths. Right up there with "Madre de diez!" and "By Thor's Beard!"

Liveblogging the Presidential Debate

Quick reminder to all, we'll be liveblogging the third and final Presidential debate of the 2008 election over at DreamLoom. Please come on by Wednesday at 9pm EDT for snark, fun, and just a little bit of politics.

Click here for the fun.

Household Help

There's video above, FeedReader. HT to Alex Epstein

These are actually vicious, commie lies. John McCain doesn't pay anything in household help. Cindy does. John spends all his money at the craps table.

(My sketch will be posted this evening. I promise.)

Save us from a sound economy, John!

Well, thank G-d for John Sidney. What would we do without him and his immense self-sacrifice. Like a martyr before the lions, John Sidney is willing to throw it all away for the good of the nation in this time of crisis.

Unlike that selfish d-bag James Madison who ran during the War of 1812.

Just look at him. All smug in his powdered wig. Little Jemmy Madison didn't love his country like John Sidney.

Or how about this anti-American hater of all that is good?

Makes me sick, just thinking about that commie-pinko campaigning, hell managing his own campaign, during the Civil War.

If only they could all be American heroes like John Sidney.

John McCain: Lying Liar

Wow. Even the Army Times is now questioning John McCain's questionable grasp on truth.

Has Sen. John McCain renounced his longtime antagonism toward the Army's Future Combat Systems?

On Sept. 8, the Republican presidential candidate told a rally crowd in Lee's Summit, Mo., about an Obama video message to a liberal advocacy group.

"He promised them he would, quote, 'slow our development of Future Combat Systems,'" McCain said, according to wire reports. "This is not a time to slow our development of Future Combat Systems."

Flashback to July, however, when his campaign furnished McCain's economic plan to The Washington Post, declaring that "there are lots of procurements — Airborne Laser, [C-17] Globemaster, Future Combat System [sic] — that should be ended and the entire Pentagon budget should be scrubbed."

Then again, those bastards in the Army have always been a bunch of left-wing commie pinkos.

FSW: Change We Can Believe In

This weeks's topic, selected by Michael, was change. I figured I should go with the season, and go with the political flow. Let's give honors to...Ken for next week. Ken, pick it and put in comments!

If you want to read this the way it really should be formatted, click here for the Scribd version. It's not radically different in appearance, except that the dual dialog is better laid out.

Oh, and yes. This would have to be animated. Assume Hanna-Barbera style.

Change We Can Believe In
INT. STAGE - DAY
(JOHN MCCAIN and SARAH PALIN in front of a green screen. He just can’t get away from them.)

JOHN
People like to bandy the word 'change' around a lot. My opponent--

SARAH
Our opponent.

JOHN
(flinching like a frequently whipped dog)
Yes Sarah. Our opponent wants you to believe change comes from diplomacy, compromise, and hard work. That’s simply not true.

SARAH
That’s right, John. Real change comes from magic rings.

(John and Sarah brandish IDENTICAL RINGS on their upheld fists.)

SARAH (CONT’D)
Magic rings stolen from alien teenagers!

JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!

SARAH
Shape of...a Bald Eagle!

JOHN
Form of...a puddle of dirty water! Just like the water on the floor of the cage I spent six years in being tortured daily. When I was a war hero.

(Sarah and John transform into a bald eagle and puddle of
water respectively. Still able to speak, though.)

SARAH
I’m a small-town girl with small-town values. Values like honoring the symbol of our great nation and honoring our great war heroes.

JOHN
Barack Obama called my running mate a pig. Does she look like a pig? No. She’s a majestic eagle.

(Sarah-eagle touches wingtip to John-puddle.)

JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, deactivate!

(In a flash, Sarah and John revert to their normal forms.)

SARAH
The big-city elites want to take your guns away.

JOHN
They want to teach your preschoolers about sex.

SARAH
They want to take your pickups and SUVs away.

(Sarah and John touch rings...)

JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!

SARAH
Form of...a completely safe and unthreatened polar bear!

JOHN
Shape of...a piece of Arctic glacier, undisturbed by liberal lies about global warming.

(Sarah and John transform again. Sarah-bear stands atop John-ice.)

SARAH
My opponent--

JOHN
(timidly)
--actually, he’s my opponent, Sarah.

SARAH
Right. Our opponent wants you to drive a hybrid. Or walk! He wants you to believe in global warming. Well, I’m from the great state of Alaska and I can tell you, it’s
not getting any warmer!

JOHN
Well, it is getting warmer, Sarah. But the science isn’t conclusive as to whether our actions have anything--

SARAH
--I said it’s not getting warmer, John!

JOHN
Right. Sorry, Sarah.

JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, deactivate!

(Sarah-bear and John-ice touch and transform.)

SARAH
Every day I wake up, I have to worry about the threat of Russian invasion. Barack Obama wants to disband the military and send all your children to madrassas. That’s not change we can believe in.
(beat)
This is change we can believe in...

(Sarah and John touch rings again...)

JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!

JOHN
Shape of...a bucket of tears. The tears I cried each night after the Vietcong had tortured and beaten me trying to make me turn against America. America, the greatest
country on Earth!

(John transforms into a bucket of tears. It’s magic. Don’t ask.)

SARAH
Form of...a moose!

(Sarah transforms into a moose.)

JOHN
That’s quite a set of antlers you’ve got there, Sarah.

SARAH
What? Oh. Moose! Where’s my gun!

(Sarah-moose runs in circles a few times, finds a tophat, pulls a lion out of it...)

SARAH
Guess I don’t know my own strength.

(Sarah-moose pushes the lion back in and pulls out a rifle and shoots herself!)

JOHN
Sarah! Sarah, are you alright?

(Sarah’s dead.)

JOHN
Oh, great. Now I’m stuck like this.

EXT. PODIUM - DAY
(Bunting and flags everywhere on this cold January day. It’s inauguration day. JOE LIEBERMAN stands behind a dais holding John-bucket-of-tears up to a microphone.)

JOE
John, John!
(calling off stage)
Someone get me a hotplate! The President’s frozen again!

BLACKOUT

Straighttalk Express: He calls her what she is

There's video above, FeedReader, via Joshua James

Honestly, have you *seen* Cindy McCain? Is it any wonder he'd call her that? I think it fails to do her justice. Not nearly a bad enough word. Do we have a better one?

Release your goddamn tax filings, you...well, you know.