"So that I can wear a scarf and pretend to be in a Bon Jovi video"

Either you appreciate Jim Osterberg or you don't. If you don't, I can't help you with this. The Smoking Gun - through cleverness, deception, intrigue, muckraking, and probably asking nicely - has obtained the rider for Stooges concerts. I'll let it speak for itself:

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Bear with me. Not a real bear, of course.
By the way, our guitar roadie, Chris, assures me that the panda is not of the genus "Bear", but is actually a part of the "Pig" family. Could this possibly be true? And if not, why would he risk telling me, so that I can tell the whole world his half-baked theory? Unbelievable.