Take your lovemaking into the station bathroom like the rest of the cops

CoyoteSqrl Watched a bunch of those videos of Andrew Meyer getting tased...tasered...what's the right verb form here?
Thick Rick Teased. He really needs a safety word. When my girlfriend and I play with sparks, we're always sure to have a safety word. Ours is "asparagus".
CS Right. Anyway, he's going to be a crap journo.
TR He goes to UF. He was going to be a crap *something*.
CS True.
TR His website is sure getting a lot of traffic.
CS And that's the problem. He's getting a lot of traffic. Man, he's not good. I mean, at 22 I wasn't particularly in control of my, um, word things, but this kid...here. This should put him into perspective as a budding journo:

I wanted to acknowledge that yes, I read Bill Simmons. He is in fact my favorite sports writer. But let me be clear: I am not stealing his opinions, and I never will. The reason I like him so much is that he thinks much the same way I do.

TR Ouch.
CS So anyway, the kid might have been shooting for more attention than just answers to his questions three.
TR Blue.
CS Whatever. He might have been looking for a bit of confrontation. What's pretty clear from all the reports, however, is that a sitting US Senator told him to ask his question (he was immediately behind the last person who was supposed to query Kerry.) And while he did ramble on and had three questions and not one, he did ask the Senator two interesting (and one slightly inane) questions.
TR Agreed. I wanna know if Kerry was a member of Balls and Shaft.
CS And then he's assaulted. An unwanted laying on of hands by some douchebags with badges.
TR Asparagus! Asparagus!
CS As Kerry's answering!!!
TR Asparagus!!!¹
CS If there's anything dumber than a UF student, even dumber than a UF student-athlete, it's a UF pig. Apparently also quite weak and unfit, as it takes four? five? six? of them to subdue a pasty Simmons fan. Of course by subdue, I mean sit on, handcuff, and only then taser. Tase? Goddamit, what's the ruling on that?
TR So you think the police went too far?
CS I think they didn't go far enough. I mean, why not put on the brass knuckles and beat on his face? No Louima treatment in front of the crowd? Show those punk kids who's the boss.
TR Mona. No, really. Watch it again, you'll see.
CS Uh, are you even listening to me?
TR Not really. You're ranting again. Cops bad: blah, blah, blah. It's not new. You've been singing the same refrain for two decades.
CS It's not like they've gotten any better in the intervening years.
TR Maybe, but you've certainly gotten more bitter. Lighten up, dude. Come down to the dung...basement rec room and play...ping-pong with me and my lady friend tonight. You'll forget all about your cares and woes. At least you won't be thinking about his pain for a little while.
CS Uh, maybe another time.

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¹ What's worse than being beaten by cops? Listening to John Kerry drone.