Russell Ziskey, We Need You!!!

Let's get one thing clear up front: soccer is the most boring game on the planet. It's sometimes like watching the proverbial grass grow; when played to a 0-0 tie, it's like watching a pot (with no heat applied) not boil. Still, you know - USA! USA! Whatever.

Anyway, Eddie Johnson (looks like he should be a cornerback - what a waste) is pulling out the war analogies in preparation for this weekend's match against Italy. Mind you, this is the same US team that got trounced by the Czech Republic on Monday. If this is the new Army of One, I fear for our futures. "[I]t's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin."