11 February 2009

Mr. Wizard on Investing

2old4this asks...

I was gonna ask you about dieting, but with the stimulus vote, I'll ask a tough one instead.

If you knew that inflation was going to jump to double digits within a couple of years, how would you prepare for it?

Assuming no layoffs or major life changes unrelated to the economy.
First off, the human yo-yo is pleased as punch he doesn't have to answer a dieting question tonight. I only like answering those when I'm on the skinny end of the continuum, as opposed to fat (and suffering from wicked heartburn tonight.) Instead, it's an easy question for The Wizard.

Sure, I could tell you to move your investment into less volatile commodities like gold, silver, and even cash.1

But I'm going to tell you the best thing to do with your money. Are all of you listening? Scoot your chairs in closer...

Invest it in me. That's right. Pay for me to take a year off and focus on my writing. For just $20,000, you can buy a 2% share in me. When I become fabulously wealthy, you'll be paid off handsomely.2

You know? Now that I think about it? Probably better off investing in gold, silver, and cash.

1. That's right. Granny and her load of cash in the mattress is a wise investor in these harrowing times. She's not helping the economy any, but she is protecting her own nest egg.
2. Offer not valid in AR, MS, WV, or anywhere else where there's no damn money. If I don't become fabulously wealthy, you can content yourself with the knowledge than I got to spend a year in my jammies playing XBox and writing for *at least* eight three 45 minutes a day.


2old4this said...

Y'know, it occurs to me that investing in you really could not possibly be any worse than any other investment.