Can you hear me now? Wait, I'm still in Scottsdale.

I had to make a personal call the other morning at work, but I get no cell coverage in my office. Wait, let me elaborate: I get no cell coverage within the borders of the city of Scottsgrad, AZ. I hear rumors that people with other carriers get decent service, but inside the city limits I'm one bar, two if it's 3:15pm on the second Thursday of a month with an 'R' in it.

No biggie, as I figured I was going to make my call over Skype. This was last Thursday. Oops. I'm calling long distance and don't want to charge it to the company, so I've got to find somewhere I can get a stable cell signal. So I step outside. No go. I get in the batmobile. No go. I start driving.

All kidding aside, I was pretty sure I'd catch a decent signal by the time I'd hit Scottsgrad Rd. I'd pull into a Starbuck's, grab an iced coffee, and have my chat. No go. Aaargh! So I keep driving west. I know by the time I hit the PHX border I'm going to get a signal, so I watch the phone as I'm driving down the road. Sure enough, I cross the line and my signal jumps from one/two bars straight up to four.^* I park, grab a drink, and have my chat.

Golly, I love the fact that Scottsgrad puts a camera on every street corner, traffic enforcement vans on every third block, tries to shut down good, hard-working citizens, and won't allow cell towers because they're a "blight" on the community. It's a gulag with golf courses.

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^* No, I'm not exaggerating for effect. My phone literally went from piss-poor to rock-solid signal when I crossed the line. It was as though they had signal jammers running.