26 August 2007

Immapperacy Hurts

There's video here, FeedReader
Won't you please join me and Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007, in helping to stamp out the growing problem of immapperacy amongst US Americans? Every bit helps. For just 50 cents a day, you can adopt a map-deprived youngster, providing her with legends, scale markers, topographical contour lines, and boundaries. You'll not just be adopting one child, but helping her whole village learn north from south, east from west. You'll receive letters and pictures, showing her progress. You'd be surprised how many maps we can buy with your donation.

Any donation will help. Five dollars, ten dollars, a used map of the Twin Pines Mall, or even a poster of that old Saul Steinberg New Yorker cover. Let's stamp out immapperacy in our times. Let's help the US, and South Africa and Iraq and the Asian countries.


Grubber said...

As a person, that is funny, as a parent, I feel for her and more so, her folks, who watched her distintegrate on stage like that. Unless of course the parents agreed with her, then well.....

Hope the poor girl doesn't let it get to her.

R.A. Porter said...

I debated whether to post anything about her meltdown since she is just a kid and as under a great deal of stress...then I realized it was funny. I feel bad for her, but not bad enough to pass up an opportunity to mock.

I am a heartless bastard.

Brian B. said...

Fear not. Being extremely attractive, and having a last name like Upton, she will move on unfazed.

R.A. Porter said...

She is cute. Maybe someday that Upton girl will fall for a downtown guy and inspire him to repeated drunk driving offenses.