17 March 2008

God Bless Yoga Pants

Went to the gym this morning for the first time in ages. I thank the Claritin. I head into one of the workout rooms to do an ab workout and take a gander around at the talent. So very much easier to work out when I've somewhere for my eyes to wander. In this room there's a hot asian in her late 30s or early 40s and a cute white girl in her 20s. Twenty-something smiles and seems to be checking me out. Odd. Wouldn't have pegged her as being into fat, bald, pasty dudes. Maybe she's just committing my features to memory for an anticipated future engagement with a police sketch artist.

Anyway, I do my thing for five or ten minutes before moving on to lift. As I'm exiting the room, I glance over and see twenty-something stretching. Nothing elaborate, she's just bending down to touch her toes...oh, nice ass! I can walk slower. She bends a bit further and...

God bless yoga pants.

The only things left to my imagination were the exact shade of pink - I'd like to think ruby red grapefruit - and whether she waxes or shaves. Holy crap. In the immortal words of Oscar Hammerstein II:

O what a beautiful morning
O what a beautiful sight
She's got some beautiful labia
Thank god her pants are so tight.


Kari said...

wow -- first up in my reader this morning: the labia post. well played, mr. porter. no more yoga pants for me.

R.A. Porter said...


Boy, I come off much pervier in this post than I realized when I wrote it. I swear, I wasn't looking for it, it just jumped out at me!

Michael Brownlee said...

Yes, one must be careful of the ninja labia, laying in wait to to pounce. You're lucky you made it out of there alive.