17 August 2006

How to ¿Ruin? a Perfectly Good Game


I got Dead Rising this week. Should have been a great game. Could have been a good game. Right now, I'm just trying to stop cursing at its stupidity long enough for it to be an okay game.

The demo was almost perfect: lots of zombies to kill; tons of weapons, some with very interesting effects; the whole nectar idea; and, the centerpiece of the game, photojournalism. Then I got the full version. Where to start...I know, how about a Top N list of things they screwed up, from small peeves right on up to the game killers?
-after the jump
...

  • I can use a showerhead as a weapon (and a damn funny one at that,) can ride a skateboard, and can kill zombies by frisbee-ing saw blades...but I can't grab a backpack in the sporting goods store to carry more weapons and supplies?
  • There are far too many guns in the game.
  • Despite the preponderence of guns, you can't carry ammo.
  • When your current weapon is exhausted, the game jumps you to the next item in your inventory instead of just leaving you ready for fisticuffs. So, you drink your nectar or throw your book instead of choosing what to do.
  • Zombies are easy to dispatch, but crazy humans? They're tough as nails.
  • Those crazy humans? They play the roles of mini-bosses. Some of them (as far as I can tell so far) you can just avoid, but others you must fight in order to complete the game.
  • Oh yeah...completing the game. Frankly, I wasn't looking for a big mystery/conspiracy to solve. I wanted me some zombie-killin'. If I miss a deadline, or fail to kill/maim one of the mini-bosses on time, I can kiss the game goodbye.
  • So there are these three prisoners driving around in a jeep with a light machine gun mounted in back. I managed to kill them all and steal the jeep. I left it by a door entering the mall and when I went back later...the three prisoners were alive and well!!! What the hell?
  • Did I mention that the humans are as tough as nails? It's a-mazing how many feckin' head shots those bastards can take before deciding to leave the scene for a later fight.
Alright. I've bitched about this game enough. There are supposed to be three modes of play, but you have to succeed at this first - incredibly stupid - linear game to open up those other two. I hope I can get through this idiocy and see if there might be an open-ended game without mini-bosses somewhere down the line. Despite my complaints about the trivial items, it's really the mini-bosses and linear gameplay that's dragging this game down.

2 comments:

Angela said...

How is it possible that every time I come back you get geekier?

Good work!

Killing zombies seems to be the typical North American past-time these days. If you're one of the cool people, that is.

R.A. Porter said...

Yes, well...it's really an allegory for the state of NA these days. We who are still alive are trying to prevent the dead-eyed, dead-souled bastards from rampaging and finally taking over everything.